Reason for healthy living

My reason is probably not what you thought, or something you possibly won't even understand. Why do I want to try each day to live healthy and treat myself right? Well, here is some background...

For too many years I treated myself, my body, and others terribly. And when I say terribly I mean it in the worst sense of the word. I put chemicals into my body that didn't belong, at a young age. I harmed myself in ways most people wouldn't ever think of. For a few years I had a VERY unhealthy relationship with food and exercise. My relationships with people were no better than my relationship with myself. I wasn't a good daughter, granddaughter, friend, or even acquaintance. In the midst of ALL the wreckage and damage I had been creating for years, my body never failed. It should have. I lived, while some of those I loved didn't. May they rest in peace. I lived. For three years now, everyday I make the choice to live (God willing). To be better than I was yesterday. For the first year and half I focused on the mind and soul. Those were my sickest parts. They so badly needed to be helped and healed. Thanks to some beautiful people in my life, and some willingness on my part I got better. I came to know, trust, and love God. I learned to love myself. In turn I learned how to be loved and to love others. My relationships flourished. Life really did take on new meaning. 

One day it occurred to me as I was trying to "get back into shape" how strong my body had been. See for me, my body is not what I AM, but rather it is something I have. Something I have been given to take care of in this life. Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said, We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. I fully believe that today. I am so grateful I was able to be connected with my Creator again and really learn to live in Spirit. In the middle of that gratitude there was something more, there was this idea that though I am not my body, I have a body. One that never gave up during all those years of abuse. It was time to start treating it as I was treating my soul. Nourish it, exercise it, love it! I was able to turn a very unhealthy relationship with my body and with food into something so beautiful. Years back it was about how fat I was, or seeing how long I could go with out eating. Only eating "low fat" or "sugar free"... Our bodies need REAL food!. (Or as real as we can get today, right?). I would exercise excessively while being under nourished. I won't get into the slightly disturbing details of what my different addictions lead me to do and feel. But I will tell you this, I love myself and my body today. I try to be balanced in body, spirit and mind as often as I can. That is something I have never had before, and it is damn wonderful.

I know that from a different perspective someone who broadcasts the fact that they try to eat healthy or they go to the gym a lot looks like its full blow ego mania. That is not the case. ( though at times my ego does indeed feed off of it )... When I am the right place, mentally and spiritually, it is not about ego. It is about balance, it's about love and respect for myself and this human experience I get to have while I learn how to strengthen my relationship with God. That's my only purpose today, to know Him, to feel Him, to love him. The rest is just noise. Right in the middle of that noise I ask God what he would have me be. I carry out what I feel his Will for me is, and I am pretty sure that is to be helpful, kind, and loving to everyone. Especially myself, I cannot transmit something I don't have. So I live to keep and enjoy my peace of mind. 

The name of this blog is a spin from a little quote in a book that has changed my life, to be Right Sized is to be humble, to know my place. Better yet to know my place with God. Which If I may, is the best place imaginable.  So for me living healthy and putting so much focus on the body aspect of this life does not take away from my spiritual life but instead it adds to it. Exercising and (my attempt at) cooking are very personal to me, as is Prayer and meditation. There is always so much more to something, if we just ask what the purpose is. I did that, and I have that. And it is soooo much more.